


Maybe a little...

by EpochApocrypha



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Auror mode Tina, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Unrequited Love, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpochApocrypha/pseuds/EpochApocrypha
Summary: My take on Newt and Tina’s misunderstandings and the events that unfolded in the French Ministry.It had been happening all her life, she was always showing up where she was least wanted. This time though, her heart paid a heavy price for such a hard lesson learned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh I’ve wanted to post this for over a week now but life doesn’t always allow me what I want ! This first chapter is rather short, there are three in total and I promise the other two are much more intense! Although all the chapters are angsty I hope you’ll at least somewhat enjoy my attempt to entertain myself until Crimes of Grindelwald is released!

There she was again, stood with back pressed against the door tears hot tears streaming down wind chilled cheeks. She’d heard other women speak of their broken hearts and shrugged it off as yet another female inclination of which she was bereft. When Queenie lost Jacob she witnessed first hand the toll it took on her sister, protecting Queenie from pain had been her motivation much of her life, the fact that she couldn’t actually relate had no bearing. Squeezing closed her eyes the ache in her chest grew heavier with each passing moment, no wonder Queenie had run off if this was even a fraction of what she had been feeling.

Sliding down the door the full weight of what had recently transpired echoed in her head over and over like some horrible twisted spell designed to drive her mad _. “...you couldn’t possibly understand....really this has nothing to do you with you.”_ Hugging her arms Tina indulged in the one luxury that had been placed off limits, she collapsed fully under the weight of despair. Gasping for air her trembling sobs seemed to fill the space yet at the same time provide proof of its utter emptiness. Pain fused with anger, resentment, and self deprecation tore through her chest with each agonizing wail.

Why had she permitted herself to devolve into this pitiful state? She had allowed herself hope, allowed that dangerous thing to shine into those recesses that had long been sealed to protect, to safeguard. Through her life she was the embodiment of strength, sadness and disappointment crept in on occasion but those instances would pass with silent tears before she’d harden once more. Cracks in her shell could be managed, repaired, but she had naively lowered her guard and opened herself to be destroyed.

Newt Scamander, the awkwardly sweet magizoologist with his shy manner and gentle predisposition had cut her down, what’s worse he didn’t seem to realize or care. Tina understood then, taking in the passionate expression as he dressed her down, just how little she actually knew about him. In that moment he was not the man she’d built him up to be: soft green eyes peeking from beneath ginger curls, a work roughened hand stroking her cheek gently, words penned from a world away arriving weekly to cast a ray of light into her otherwise dull existence. These, she realized, were cruel imaginings created by her own mind.

Try as she might to blame him for all the anger, betrayal, and hurt, it inevitably rebounded to fall squarely upon her own shoulders. It was a blind trust that ran contrary to everything that defined her, the betrayal was to her own self and it angered her all the more as she cursed her own foolishness. Of the emotions that had overcome her, the jealousy at witnessing Leta Lestrange and her obvious closeness to Newt all but consumed her normally sound and logical brain. The sting of her picture in his shed was nothing compared with witnessing their physical proximity, beyond which was an unspoken intimacy built over years. What was she next to that? Some silly, silly, woman he’d met briefly and tried to escape from, even if he did promise.

Newt _did_ promise, and he wrote, clutching her chest dejectedly Tina folded into herself. He stopped writing back months ago, shortly after she discovered his book had been published; Likely, she despaired, it was when he became engaged. The ‘Daily Prophet’s’ society page announcing their engagement haunted her memory. The inner auror is never silenced for long, it is her job after all to piece together a bigger picture and look for deception. It hurt all the more that she never expected such lies from him.

_“I’m not sure what Leta likes these days, because people change, I’ve changed...I think, maybe a little.”_

Pulling herself up, Tina wiped the moisture from her eyes steeling her heart against the tide of emotion that swept through her.

_“I think, maybe, a little”_

“Porpentina Goldstein, pull yourself together, you are stronger than this!” Standing she took a deep shuttering breath as her eyes began to sting painfully, walking to the looking glass she stared while palming the tears from her eyes. “You are no Leta Lestrange, no Queenie, you aren’t beautiful, but you ARE strong!” A single droplet escaped to trace the contour of her face, straightening her form she pursed her lips, “That is the last tear you’ll shed over Newton Scamander, you have a mission and you will not fail!”

Tomorrow would be a fresh start, she would not falter until she had located Queenie, rescued Credence from that horrible circus, and recaptured Grindelwald. She had a job to do. Her heart would be impervious to injury as it was hardened, no matter how she secretly wished it otherwise, Tina would be sure to never cross paths with Newt Scamander again. Hopefully she would soon forget all about him, _“maybe a little.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the one following are much longer! So sorry, I start with simple little idea then it takes off running!!! Also I edited on the fly as a project I’m working on has taken more of my time than I’d have liked!

Rising early as was her habit, Tina left the tiny cramped hotel room and stepped out onto the pavement. Paris, the city of love, held nothing for her now but bitter contempt. Pushing down the crushing sadness that had begun to rise in her chest like bile, she made for the small cafe round the corner from her lodgings. Attaining a comfortable table in an inconspicuous corner of the wizarding establishment, Tina produced her notes hoping to find something she may have previously overlooked. Absently sipping her coffee she turned her concentration to the page of her worn notebook that lay open. A few jotted words were all that was written : Corvus Lestrange, Vault 6666, Josef Kama, Skender, Montparnasse Cemetery. Picking up the pen forgotten on the table Tina took a deep breath steadying herself as she mentally reviewed the new information from the previous day, despite the pain it might bring about, she had to get to the truth. She had a job to do.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Tina had snuck into the Parisian ministry in order to intercept Leta Lestrange on her weekly visit to her family vault. Thinking back to the damp network of underground sewers the painstakingly detailed family tree was fresh in her minds eye. Corvus Lestrange Jr., the birth records she had uncovered were in reference to a child smuggled in the night to America aboard a merchant ship. A small boy now named Credence was left in the care of an absolute monster, the paper trail was carefully hidden but Tina followed the more reliable path of coin that led from the Lestrange family to the bank account of one Mary Lou Barebone.

A sloppy transaction red flagged and dated just before the incident with the obscurial was rush ordered from a wizarding bank in Paris to the no-maj Bank of New York. Grinding her teeth Tina recalled her first meeting with Newt at that very bank, in fact that’s what originally piqued her attention. Upon closer inspection of the obtained paperwork a name jumped from the page, Lestrange...Leta Lestrange. She’d heard all about the Lestrange family long before Newt Scamander stumbled awkwardly into her life, this new information only solidified her opinion of them.

Her goal was to confront Leta but she was surprised and devastated to see Newt. She shouldn’t have been, after all the ring on her finger was proof enough that the society papers were in the know. ‘ _Lestrange to be wed to famous Scamander!’_ Newt looked equal parts confused and panicked, hurt surely flashed over her face but this wasn’t the time for such things, she was already along for this she had to follow through.

After navigating the labyrinthine security measures and eluding French Ministry guards, they wound their way through the catacombs to arrive at the vaults. It was apparent Newt was working to help Leta locate something not belonging to the Lestrange family. Tina took a moment to survey the surroundings, a multitude of treasure and other magic paraphernalia lined the other vaults. This one however, contained a solitary stand and was heavily warded, the contents of which were missing. Whatever the item it was clearly the sole reason the two of them were there, a quick escape would prove to be difficult but necessary to not only protect them, but herself from international espionage charges.

Heading for the rear exit Tina made fast work of petrifying the guards and decided this to be  the most opportune moment to corner and confront Leta regarding Credence. Rounding quickly on the two, she blocked the passage forward wand at the ready, “We aren’t going anywhere until you tell me everything I need to know about Corvus Lestrange.” Leta stiffened perceptibly at the question, “My father? What would you want with that man?” Moving in close Tina opted for more aggressive interrogation tactics, “Oh Miss Lestrange I think you know who I’m talking about, I mean your younger brother Corvus. You remember, the one the Lestrange family paid Mary Lou Barebone to keep locked away and beaten!”

Newt jumped quickly to her defense, clearly aggravated, “Stop this instant! This isn’t helping anything Tina! There’s more to it than you know and I think your prejudice against the Lestrange family name is clouding your judgement. Leta isn’t the same as them..”  
Stuttering and enraged she shifted focus to him, this wasn’t the shy awkward Newt she’d met in New York, “My prejudices?! Throwing out everything I’ve heard, I can’t disregard what I’ve seen for myself in black and white!!”

Turning attentions back to the cowering woman she continued allowing personal feelings to taint her words, “You threw your own brother out like garbage!! Do you know what he suffered at the hands of that woman?! What kind of monster does that to her own brother?! Whats worse you’ve dragged Newt into whatever scheme you and your family are involved in!!” Leta at least had the good sense to appear remorseful as a frown began to mar her perfect face.

“Enough!” Newt had now positioned himself in front of Leta, “There are circumstances and events you couldn’t possibly understand. I involved myself Miss Goldstein as I am fully capable of coming to my own decisions, decisions made _after_ I’ve ascertained all of the facts. What the two of us are involved in really has nothing to do with you. Instead of wasting time we need to looking for a way out of here.”

Observing the fierce protective look on his face paired with the blow dealt by his words, her world grayed considerably. Blinking twice she willed herself not to cry and turned to walk quickly away when a light hand on her elbow halted her movement, “Miss Goldstein I know what you must think of me, most people would agree with you, but I did what I did out of love.” Tina didn’t trust her voice to speak, glancing down at the glittering ring adorning her finger, her eyes burned, “Thank you for helping us, I doubt we’d have gotten so far otherwise.”

Shaking off the hand of the painfully beautiful woman Tina steeled herself, “I’m going ahead to scout a way out of here, you two stay put until I return.” Trudging onward she encountered and enchanted two wampus cats guarding the exit, leaving a trail from her wand charting the course to the surface. Returning she heard the hushed conversation taking place, “You’re too good Newt, you never met a monster you couldn’t love.”

The pregnant pause that followed saw Tina creep closer, observing the two as she caught the look of sheer devastation on Newt’s face and her heart broke for him, but also because of him. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times Leta, there are no such things as monsters, just things we’ve yet to understand. You, you are certainly not a monster and I... you know I always...” Catching him by surprise Leta stepped forward to kiss him softly on the lips, lingering for what seemed like forever. Knowing something and seeing it for yourself are two very different things. Tina felt the ground tilt beneath her as her heart shattered, it’s contents broken beyond repair.

Pulling back Leta had whispered softly against his lips, “Thank you, for always loving me even when I didn’t love myself.” Opening his mouth to speak Tina decided she couldn’t stand to witness anymore and stepped forward jerking both of their attentions to her. “Tina...” Averting her gaze she refused to take in the look on his face accompanying the two syllable knife that plunged into her heart,“If you two are finished we need to get going the enchantment I cast on the wampus cats won’t last much longer.”

Turning abruptly she heard their footsteps following close behind as she rushed on. The echoing foot noise paused only momentarily, obviously taking in the charmed cats. “Miss Goldstein how did you manage this, aren’t Wampus cats near indestructible with powers of hypnosis?” Looking to Newt, Leta seemed to ask for validation in her assumption. Keeping her response curt Tina wanted nothing more than to leave, well almost, she wanted to leave with her dignity in tact and the voice of a certain magizoologist would hamper that goal. “They’re native to the states Miss Lestrange, we had them on the grounds at Ilvermourney, formidable yes but also prone to distraction.” The large cats were fixated on the spells of light darting to and fro completely uninterested in the intruders nearby. “They’re fierce magical creatures, but they’re still just big cats.”

Continuing on they emerged through a magicked wall into the stale air of the city, half jogging Tina hugged herself against the sudden chill and made to blend in with the pedestrians darting to and fro along streets. Feeling the hair raise on the back of her neck her steps halted. “Tina! Tina!” He was on her faster than she’d imagined, “Tina, please wait, I..” The unsteady feeling had grown substantially and Newt appeared to notice as well, a black veil fluttered into existence and draped across the surrounding structures. A solitary wisp was headed straight for them when Newt bridged the distance between them stepping out in an attempt to block it.

Walking over to the nearest building Tina reached through the transparent curtain to place her hand on the stone beneath, “It’s a nullifying enchantment, no one under it can cast and all magic transport is cut off.” Newt blinked heavily several times, “Do you think the ministry enacted it as a measure against the security breech?” Shaking her head Tina forced her gaze on the horizon, “No Mr. Scamander, someone wants to prevent spellcasting behind closed doors, force witches and wizards into the open.”

He stepped closer to her whispering, “Grindelwald.” Following her example he looked to the sky before hanging his head, “I wasn’t aware you hade come to Europe...” Clipping the sure onslaught of pleasantries and excuses that would only serve to cause her further pain, she hardened her resolve in that instant, “How could you, it’s not like you’ve returned my letters,” his look of utter confusion at the statement only served to anger her, “If you’ll excuse me I have a job to do.”

Grabbing her arm before she could apparate Newt forced her around to face him, “Tina if it involves Grindelwald then I ...” Roughly freeing herself from his hold she regurgitated the venomous words which had poisoned her earlier, “What I’m involved in, really has nothing to do with you.” With that she apparated within close proximity to her lodging, trudging to her room before the full weight of the day could finally collapse on her.

 

* * *

 

 

Squeezing her eyes tightly she focused on her happiest memory, not just a useful tactic for producing a patronus. An image swirled of a beach near Milford, Connecticut where her grandparents lived; she and Queenie would visit along with their parents every summer. A band played in the distance, she couldn’t recall the melody, but PaPa had popped up to dance with Queenie and she herself spun round till she fell against the safety of her mothers embrace. The memory, despite being so heavily dwelled upon, had dulled over time. Would she eventually lose it completely?

Opening her eyes a presence loomed by her table, looking up her heart jumped to her throat as Newt stood with his case clasped in both hands, his posture much the same as it was in New York. Nothing like what she had witnessed yesterday, she wondered if this was his play at manipulation through posturing?

“May I join you?” Shaking her head the happy memory suddenly shifted to ash, before she could vocalize her response however Newt slid into the vacant seat across her. A waitress that had yet to acknowledge her request for more coffee all but pranced to the table at the sight of him, “Je te vous quel que chose?” Before he could open his mouth to answer, Tina thumped her empty cup loudly on the table, “Un cafe si’l vous plait.” Smirking at the cup Newt finally replied, "Le même pour moi”.

Returning moments later the waitress set a coffee down in front Newt along with a book, ‘ _Fantastic Beasts and where to find them_ ’, “Puis-je avoir votre autographe, Monsieur Fantastique?” Newt slid the coffee over to Tina while blushing an impressive shade of red but quickly produced a quill, signing the woman’s book before snapping it closed and thrusting it back into her hands, “Bon. Adieu.” The woman looked taken back and glared between the coffee cup and Tina’s face, looking expectantly at Newt before realizing his attention was solely on the woman at the table she then left  promptly.

Tina pushed the cup away from her to the edge of the table in disgust, failing miserably in keeping the look of hurt from her face, “I need to be going Mr. Scamander, I’ve wasted too much time already.”

“Tina, please listen I...I need to, we need to talk.. about yesterday,” her sharp intake of air caused him a moments hesitation, “It goes without saying what we were doing in the ministry can not become known. What I’m saying is, I believe I can trust in your discretion regarding everything that transpired. Can I trust that you’ll help me in this regard?” His words ignited a fury inside her, “ _He expects me to help him...to help her... after everything! After Jacob and Queenie!”_ hurt was pushed down momentarily in favor of rage, but it still lingered along with the ugly jealousy she felt all too keenly.

Scoffing loudly she seethed, “Help huh, you mean like how you helped to smuggle Jacob and Queenie to England while not a single one of you trusted me to ‘help’.” Opening his mouth to speak she ignored him and pushed on, “Since my promotion I’ve saved at every opportunity, I know my sister Mr. Scamander, I’m also an auror, I knew about Jacob’s memory and your little deception with the swooping evil. I almost had enough to get them out, which I’d have written to request your assistance had you not stopped returning my correspondence. I suppose your answer is that I’m not worth trusting.” Newt all but lunged across the table, “No! You know I didn’t mean it like that, they are my friends and I wanted to help them. They love one another deeply, I thought it cruel so when Queenie wrote requesting assistance I....I knew I couldn’t risk you losing your job after you’d just been reinstated.”

Taking a deep breath she struggled to keep any trace of feeling from her face, she set her gaze to his bow tie, “I suppose I should thank you for your kind consideration, and also take this opportunity to wish you congratulations.” Clipping her words brusquely everything screamed at her to flee with dignity in tact, her mask would not crack in front of him, she wouldn’t allow it. He hung his head in shame cheeks flushing sharply, “I’m so sorry you didn’t hear it from me...I ... it wasn’t the way I had planned it to happen ...Tina, I need to explain.”

“It hardly matters now, in fact I should be the one apologizing, I obviously put you in a difficult position. Well, good day Mr. Scamander.”

Pushing up to stand she tossed several francs on the table before a tall gentleman startlingly similar in appearance to Newt rounded the corner, deep voice cutting the silence, “Little brother, meeting with a woman for coffee, this isn’t where I thought you’d be, you never fail to surprise.” Extending a hand the man took Tina’s warmly while fixing a narrowed glare at Newt, “Theseus Scamander, to whom do I have the pleasure, Newton.”

Newt appeared incensed, “This is Tina Goldstein, a..”, interjecting Tina finished introducing herself, “an acquaintance.” Newt’s face appeared to be devastated, or was she imagining it? This man, his older brother Theseus, also seemed to notice.

“Well then, you must be the very same Miss Goldstein from MACUSA that helped my brother with his little problem in New York.” Puzzling her features, his face was carefully devoid of emotion, he was most certainly an auror and she couldn’t afford to get embroiled in wizarding politics involving MoM. “Yes, well if you’ll excuse me Mr. Scamander, I was just leaving.”

“Actually it’s Chief Auror Scamander, Miss Goldstein, before you leave I’d like to thank you for your actions yesterday, protecting both my little brother and my fiancée. Leta told me how you handled the guards and thought to cover their tracks so as to avoid an international scandal, you have my sincerest thanks.”

Tina felt light headed all of the sudden, fiancée, Leta...Theseus Scamander... Lestrange. 

“ _Lestrange to be wed to famous Scamander”_

_“...you mean Theseus Scamander...the war hero?”_

Then Theseus was the famous Scamander, not Newt, still, so much wasn’t making any sense. Flabbergasted she finally swallowed thickly keeping her eyes anywhere but on the magizoologist seated at the table. “No thanks necessary Auror Scamander, now if you’ll excuse me.” Nodding curtly Tina exited the cafe and disappeared onto the bustling streets.

Turning down the narrow alleyway nearest the building she collapsed raggedly back against the cool stone. Grasping at the hallow of her chest her head hung low mimicking the man who sat at the table just moments ago. “ _You will not cry, you will not hope ...you have a job to do. Even if he’s not engaged to her, the feelings he expressed were proof enough, you’d be a fool to think otherwise and you, Porpentina, are anything but.”_

Closing her eyes tightly her resolve strengthened, the threat now was that the ministry was involved. Between the bounty hunters and Grindelwald’s henchmen there was enough to worry about without some higher up from MoM interfering with her work.

A shadow fell over her startling her to draw her wand. “It’s, it’s just me Tina.” Newt stood in front of her, the line of his figure sagging slightly. Taking in his finely tailored garments and shined oxfords, aside from his carriage, she wouldn’t have know he was the magizoologist that entered her life some seven months prior.

Taking a deep breath she puffed up attempting to make herself appear more menacing. “What is it?”

Stepping forward Newt closed in on her form, tired and unshaven but still a bit taller and broader than she, “I needed to talk to you, to explain, to apologize, so much has happened Tina that I... I need your help.”

Focusing on him intently after hearing those last words she felt her heart clench, he was staring into her eyes with bright glassy green orbs that appeared on the verge of tears. Try as she may she couldn’t avert her gaze, even if her heart was in peril she knew there wasn’t a part of her that could turn away from him fully. Her mutinous heart was chipping away at  her resolve. “What, what can I possibly do for you?”

“We need to talk Tina, please, please allow me to ...” his hand twitched upward as the passing breeze blew a lock of hair over her cheek. Hastily tucking the strand behind her ear she pushed back further against the stone facade to maintain her distance.

Dropping his hand and jerking away quickly he hung his head, “ I have a flat here in Paris, this is the address.” Handing her a small piece of parchment scribbled in his hand he looked up at her pleadingly, “Please come.”

Swallowing thickly he turned and disapparated with a crack. Tina felt her body all but collapse as a flurry of emotions wracked her insides. Clutching the piece of paper she knew without a doubt what she would do, once again she’d let Newt Scamander pull her into another adventure, regardless of what it may end up costing her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI I know the cats in the trailer are not Wanpus cats but they fit for my story so I’m using them!! Plus how hilarious would it be for a powerful beast to get sidetracked by what is essentially a magic laser pointer!! Also my French is archaic, I can get by but I did look up the small conversation to double check...I’m hoping it goes like this:  
> What can I get you ?  
> Tina: A coffee please.  
> Newt: Same for me  
> Then the waitress asks Newt for his autograph addressing him flirtingly as Mr. Fantastique!
> 
>  
> 
> As always thank you for reading and commenting!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is so late !!! I’m ashamed to say my plans were derailed by a trip to the theatre! Musicals are my weakness!!!!

Arriving at the address an outstretched hand paused mid-air in hesitation, a steadying breath passed her lips as Tina’s knuckles made contact with the door. Standing back a pace she straightened, shoving hands deeper into the pockets of her trench coat palming the wand in her right pocket. _‘Always be prepared for the worst Goldstein better to appear suspicious than to appear in a casket’_ A moment later the door opened to reveal a very sunny looking energetic woman with red hair that appeared to be quite surprised. Double checking the writing on the slip of parchment Tina verified the flat number before eyeing the attractive young woman, “Who are you!?”

Obviously stunned by the abruptness from the stranger suddenly appearing on her doorstep, she faltered before recovering herself, “Oh my! So sorry, you startled me, you’re not who I was expecting! Who might you be?”

Scowling the hand in her coat tightened around her wand, agitated sparks tingling around her fingers as she replied bluntly, “I asked you first.”

Smiling all the more brightly the woman extended her hand excitedly, “Bunting McLamb, my friends however call me Bunty, at your service ! I’m personal assistant to Mr. Newton Scamander, famed author and magizoologist, to whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?”

Tina was certain her eyebrows had disappeared behind her fringe, _“She’s certainly enthusiastic. Newt’s book must have fared well if he can afford an assistant.”_ At the thought of his book Tina’s heart dropped _, ‘Seems nice enough, of course he’d hire some pretty woman to assist him.”_ Breaking that train of thought she cleared her throat, “Porpentina Goldstein, I go by Tina, Newt told me to meet him here.” Pulling her hand back the woman’s face had shifted subtlety after she mentioned her name, picking at the hem of her shirt nervously, “As in Tina Goldstein, 679 West 24th Street New York, New York?”

Before she raised voice to her question Bunty had stepped aside ushering her in before closing the door. “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you, you’re hair is quite different!” Puzzled Tina crossed her arms tilting her head in silent question as the lovely red haired woman rang her hands. “I owe you an apology Miss Goldstein ! I separated what I thought to be fan mail after the release of Newt’s book. Honestly though, he is partially to blame he hates reading through them, complains about it constantly, claims most of the attention is due to celebrity versus any real interest in magical creatures. Though I can’t really blame him, Newt has far more important things to do, like saving innocent creatures, than to waste his time on perfumed letters from admirers asking silly questions!”

Flushing embarrassedly a nervous laugh erupted, “Oh dear it appears I’ve veered of topic, sorry, where was I ?! Right! He asked me about your letters when he came in this afternoon and when I learnt that he was expecting regular correspondence from you and that I had pushed them aside with the rest...well I’ve never seen him so displeased. I am terribly sorry Miss Goldstein, please, I beg that you’ll forgive me.”

Lightening up somewhat Tina attempted to put her at ease, “Simple mistake trying to make a good impression with the new boss, I’ve been there, it’s ok. I wouldn’t worry about Newt either, he hired you right? So it goes without saying he did so knowing you were equal to the task, can’t be angry he was right.” Again there was a hint of a downturn shadowing her features, Bunty pursed her lips and smiled tightly, “Actually I was hired by the beasts division, I volunteered for the opportunity because I’ve been following Newt’s work for some time now. He didn’t request an assistant insomuch as it was forced upon him by the ministry, rather a sore spot but he did seem to be warming to me, at least he was until...”

“Don’t worry I’ll talk to him, now where is he ?” As sweet natured as she seemed to be Tina wasn’t here to beat around the bush, she could ill afford to waste any more precious time.

Turning Bunty beckoned her to follow as she was led to a room containing a single bed, at the foot of which lay a familiar case. “He hadn’t told me to be expecting you, I think it will be a lovely surprise! Again Miss Goldstein...” Waving her hand Tina cut her off, “Just Tina is fine and you don’t have to apologize anymore, thanks Bunty.” With that the other woman lingering a bit before leaving her alone in the room.

Opening the case to descend she was taken aback, a newspaper clipping with her picture from the ‘New York Ghost’ was pinned to the inside of his case. It had been taken when she was reinstated as an auror, before he left New York last December... _‘That’s what she meant by the hair comment. It feels so long ago, I cant believe...why would he keep it?’_ Her heart began to thump wildly, sighing her head made the vain attempt of calming her heart. There was so much she could not, would not, trust in right now, her heart being chief among them.

Descending into his work shed the familiarity and feeling of home threatened to overwhelm her, glancing purposefully at the table beside the door she braced herself. The silly emotion that arose within her at the missing portrait pained her enough to rationalize,  _‘He obviously moved it somewhere else so Theseus wouldn’t see.’_ Exiting into the creature habitats the sense of wonder at what lay before her swept through her very soul distracting her at least temporarily from her troubles as she took in the changes that occurred since their first fateful meeting. He came upon her standing in front of the Niffler den, she wouldn’t have known had it not been for Dougal cooing at the sight of his caretaker.

He was attired in his suit from earlier apart from the coat and vest, the patterned dress shirt suited him, though Tina tried unsuccessfully not to dwell on that fact. Licking his lips he approached her slowly as if she were one of his more dangerous creatures or perhaps, she thought, one that had been hurt. “You came, I wasn’t sure you would, I’d hoped but...”

Firmly taking the lead she pressed for information, “Why am I here Mr. Scamander ?”

Shifting on the balls of his feet he shoved his fidgeting hands deeply into the pockets of his trousers, “I wanted, I needed to speak with you Tina, to explain the situation.” Hopeful eyes found hers as he seemed to be taking her in, the look upon his face was one Tina would not meet or think on, “Alright then Mr. Scamander, explain.”

“I’m here under orders from Albus Dumbledore, my old Professor from Hogwarts. He recruited both Leta and myself to aide in the recapture of Grindelwald. Given that Grindelwald is collecting magical creatures for his vicious use, I could hardly turn away. My brother, as you are now aware, is Chief Auror at the British Ministry, he was apprised of and most certainly manipulated the situation I currently find myself in here in Paris. When he saw you earlier, knowing your background and our history, he wanted to press you into service. I requested that I be able to speak with you in order to ask your assistance rather than demand it. He acquiesced only after Leta intervened and subsequently dragged him off to supper.” Inching forward he frowned, “I’ve no right to ask but we desperately need your help Tina, you’ve been exposed to Grindelwald far more than any of us has. You are in fact one of very few that can say they’ve dueled him and lived to tell of it.”

Placing hands on her hips Tina rolled her head back before hanging it, “What’s your old professor got to do with Grindelwald?”

Shifting nervously Newt deftly side-stepped the question, “Before we get into that there’s something of greater import that needs to be addressed. I owe you an apology for not telling about Queenie and Jacob.” Shaking her head Tina paced over to the old Thunderbird enclosure, “Where is Jacob?”

“He’s safe with a friend, Nicholas Flamel.” Hoisting a brow Tina hit him with a look of annoyance, “Who’s he?” Crossing his arms over his chest Newt bit his lip, “A seven hundred or so year-old alchemist that created, and is currently in possession of, the philosophers stone.”

Gaping Tina huffed at the scenario only Newt would intone as if speaking about the weather, “And my sister, is she with him?”

Newt’s demeanor became suddenly downcast, “No, Jacob arrived separate from Queenie, when he went to intercept her, she wasn’t...no one had seen anyone resembling her. Jacob thought, well he thought she’d abandoned him, he’s been distraught and staying with me up to recently anyway. You’re telling me she isn’t still in New York then?”

Tina felt the terror settle in the pit of her stomach overriding any other feelings that resided there the past 48hours. “I got tip from another auror that my sister was seen boarding a steamer shortly after Grindelwald escaped. MACUSA was on level 5 lockdown and she was missing, though knowing her she could’ve just flirted with Abernathy to get off early. They raided our apartment and found it gutted...I assumed she cleared out to run off with Jacob. I’ve kept my ear to the ground for any whiff that MACUSA knew about the two of them but it still seems that they were none the wiser...”

“I’m sorry Tina, truly, I should’ve taken initiative and written you regarding what was in motion but ...when your letters suddenly stopped I ... I won’t lie Tina I was beyond disappointed I thought perhaps it was because you heard of the book release and thought me negligent of my promise to you.” Retreating quickly he retrieved a stack of papers from his work desk handing them to her, “As you see my reentry into America was denied, I’ve since learned my own brother was behind it. He attempted to recruit me to the campaign to root out Grindelwald’s underground network, when I flatly refused he used his clout to block my path, of course Grindelwald’s escape only served to further restrict overseas travel. I joined only because I was pressed on by my old professor, he helped me at a time my options in life were quite slim, I felt it only right to repay him.” Making eye contact with her again, this was the first time she allowed herself to take him in; his eyes were red, clearly he had been crying, dark circles shadowed his eyes, and tiny lines of stress had creased a furrow in his brow.

Setting the papers down she crossed her arms defensively over her chest interrupting as he moved to continue, “I know a little something about disappointment Newt, how do you think I felt when I wrote you over and over only to receive no reply, and before you say anything, yes I spoke with your assistant Bunty. My sister and the lack of trust however is more than disappointing it’s hurtful.” None of this was about trust or her sister and deep down Tina knew it.

Shaking his head he held his hands out to her, “My actions had nothing to do with trust Tina, you had just been reinstated to your former position as auror. There was no way I could risk destroying your livelihood by tying you to actions deemed treasonous by your country. All I could think of was you stuck miserable in that windowless wand permit office, I personally know what it’s like to be trapped in a position you despise with no way out, I would not be responsible for doing that to you.”

“So you were protecting me is that it? Well I’m glad you condescended to assist me, being the famous author of ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ and all, I’m sure your success affords you little enough time to dwell on insignificant things.” Tina realized her tone was withering and petty but the mounting hurt was becoming unbearable.

His pained eyes shone at her remark blinking quickly away from her, “I’m more sorry than you can imagine Tina I had planned to surprise you in New York before the news hit the papers, but as I said I had little recourse against Ministry orders. I didn’t want you to find out that way.”

A pained laugh erupted before she could stop it she was steadily losing her battle with control, “Oh but I did find that out from the papers, among other things...”

His eyes shot to hers in attention as her voice broke, “ _The popular bachelor Newt Scamander romances women across England leaving them little more than ravenous beasts in his wake._ Ha! Between your well-covered romantic exploits and the cold shoulder, I put two and two together pretty fast. It’s my own fault though, I thought...I thought...”

Tears eroded her steadfast resolve and spilled down her cheeks, Newt moved to wipe at them but she recoiled from the contact rubbing angrily at her face before taking a deep breath.“It doesn’t matter what I ...it doesn’t matter, it was my mistake.”

Clearly upset Newt kept moving in toward her, “No, Tina you aren’t, I...”

Holding her arm out at length, she forced his distance, “Please stop, just...please don’t.”

This enforced exile from her personal space seemed to break him, “The Daily Prophet is in the business of selling papers Tina, using any means to do so. My publisher took no trouble in correcting them for any publicity is good publicity, and I am at the behest of Obscurus Books for the foreseeable future. None of it’s true, pictures paired with stories taken out of context.”

“Really? Even the one about your past romance with Leta Lestrange?” Newt froze, an unreadable look on his face ...the same one she saw when Queenie had first unearthed her name... “That’s...”

“I’ll spare you Newt, It’s painfully obvious that it’s true, when I read... when I read the headline you were engaged ...”

“I was not the Scamander to which they were referring, _surely_ my brother put that to rest.”

“No Newt, he did no such thing.” Staring at him with tears falling in heavy droplets, she fought to steady her voice, “I saw the two of you Newt, I saw with my own eyes. Even before that you rushed to her defense, the man I saw in that moment was desperate and nothing like the one I thought I knew.”

“What you saw...it was...she was my only friend... people they would treat her horribly...I was the only person she had to protect her.”

“You’re still in love with her...”

“No...”

Smiling through her tears she forced out the words, “Maybe, a little?”

A choked sob erupted but it’s Newt that’s crying, the echoed words struck him precisely as she meant them to, “I’m sorry Newt hurting you wasn’t my objective. We just need to clear the air, it’s my own fault really I never get the hint and tend to show up where I’m least wanted.”

Wiping at his eyes Newt’s face contorted and was deeply pained, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you my actions weren’t justified, but there is more to the story than you are aware, Leta isn’t entirely innocent in all this but she isn’t solely to blame either. I won’t placate you Tina, I was hurt when I found out my elder brother had long been courting my old friend, but that’s all we were Tina, friends. There was a time when we were young, that I felt something more perhaps, but the feelings that exist between us now are quite different and complex. There’s friendship but also betrayal, and I’m not speaking about her engagement to my brother. I know what you saw in the catacombs but it meant nothing short of goodbye to me, and yes I know how weak that sounds. When I think what your opinion must surely be of me ... as you said earlier, I think it hardly matters now. I’ve single handedly dashed my own hopes, I...”

She hardly knew what to say, they both stood mere steps from the other, sorrow staining one another’s features. Tina wanted nothing more than to comfort him, to cry with him but she kept her distance for fear. His arms encircling her in his warmth would breech the ramparts and rip open the wound she had just  barely patched up. The cut was too deep and would take some time to heal, still...

A knock on the case distracted both of their attentions, rubbing his eyes Newt attempted to pull himself together, “It must be Theseus come back, I’d know the obnoxious knock anywhere, he’ll be wanting to fill you in on the mission details and obtain any information you’ve gleaned.”

Huffing a laugh Tina came to a quick decision, “I’ll help you Newt, not Dumbledore, not Theseus, and not Leta....I’ll help you because you’re still a friend.” Laying her feelings out upon her face she questioned softly, “You’re still my friend?” Glassy tear filled eyes both met in a silent understanding, Newt forced a heartbreaking smile to his face before uttering a breathless reply, “Yes.”

Pausing by her en route to invite the visitors down, he tossed the words over his shoulder with only a passing glance, “You _weren’t mistaken_ Tina, I know you don’t believe me when I say I have feelings for you, but my desire to be in your company has only grown with each passing moment. Seeing you so close and knowing, knowing I, that I hurt you, that I perhaps ruined my chances at true happiness... you may never feel the same about me Tina but I shall prove myself to you. I won’t rest until I have earned your forgiveness, I know I might not deserve it, but I want it nonetheless. You are wanted here... _I want you_.”

Fixing her face with a flick of the wand Tina stared after his retreating back, with a handful of words the cold ache in her chest had lessened. Shock gave way to something else entirely, it flooded her soul with color replacing the gray that had darkened her world, lighting the space within her filling it to bursting with warmth. The speculation drawn from three little words had torn her heart in two, but three little words had also mended it, _“I want you.”_ It was the first time anyone had said those words to her, they resonated deep within and she knew he meant them.

They were friends but perhaps they stood on the precipice of something more, for now though, this was enough. Tina would support him in any way she could and expected him to do the same. There was something looming bigger than all of them just on the horizon, everything else would have to wait including insecurities. Straightening her jacket she smirked to herself listening to the approaching footsteps, yes, she had a mission no matter what obstacles threatened her goals, even if they were personal. Closing her eyes she focused on her happiest memory: Music was playing, then she was spinning and giddy before falling into strong warm arms, green eyes caught hers briefly...I want you.

Opening her eyes she set her jaw, she had a job to do, she would not fail...not again. This is, she realized, exactly where she belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll be posting the second chapter tomorrow and I’ll try to have number three edited and posted by Sunday!
> 
> Thank you for troubling yourself to read this I appreciate it!!


End file.
